The Versatile Blogger

I am in utter shock and disbelief that Johnathan and Aaron from husbandandhusband.net saw fit to nominate me for the versatile blogger award. When I started blogging I never expected to have anyone read my writing, and I especially never thought anyone would like it enough to follow me! But, I am so glad that the two of them did, and I can’t thank them enough! ūüôā

So, 7 things you for sure don’t know about me…

1. I am obsessed with horror movies. The Halloween movies particularly. Halloween 4 literally is my life. I’ve probably seen it over 200 times.

2. I am a percussionist. I can play basically anything I can get my hands on. Give me a day or two with an instrument of your choice and I’ll teach myself how to play. My mom is a drummer, and she taught me well. My whole family makes up a gospel band.

3. I went to college for basketball originally, but didn’t end up playing because I worked and paid my way through school.

4. I am from one of the smallest towns in Texas, where my grandad is the mayor and my mom is a teacher.

5. I have a super thick country accent. When I’m not in teaching/coaching clothes, I’m usually wearing my cowboy boots.

6. My girlfriend and I met at college, she played softball with my roommates and dated one of my best friends at the time……soooooo awkward.

7. I have 8 tattoos. All classy I might add.

I was told to nominate 15 bloggers, but I don’t think I even follow 15 people yet, that’s how new I am. *insert pouting face* ¬†I hope that’s okay! I’ll go ahead and put my nominations on the board, even though it is short of 15.

Drum roll please……

1. voicinghope.wordpress.com

The piece that really drew me in was “whispers & shouts”. There was something about that post that was insanely vulnerable. I loved the simplicity, yet depth of this.

2. icoulddriveforever.com

If you’re looking to go on a journey vicariously through someone else, this is your guy! Wonderful writing, great adventure, fun times!

3. optionalpoetry.wordpress.com

I’m pretty addicted to poetry, and this writer is wonderful. I actually really love that titles of all of the poems, are dates. It’s a different, yet beautiful, raw kind of writing.

4. teenchange.wordpress.com

From one teacher to another, I really enjoy this blog. She drew me in with “Reflections from the Pause Button.” Check her out, you won’t be disappointed.

5. erickaclay.com

I love her post “Taking Chances as a Writer”! First line “Writing is like being naked” and I was hooked. I actually started reading the first chapter of her book online and thoroughly enjoyed it!

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The Feeling of Inadequacy

“Inadequate”¬†
adjective
1. not adequate or sufficient; inept or unsuitable.
2. Psychiatry. ineffectual in response to emotional, social, intellectual, and physical demands in the absence of any obvious mental or physical deficiency.
One of the worst feelings I have ever experienced is the feeling of inadequacy. Feeling like you genuinely aren’t good enough. Feeling like no matter what you do, it’s never quite up to par.I think what’s worst than that is having other people think that about you.
There are two kinds of people in this world. Type 1: People who let that do some serious damage to their inner fighter, giving them a K.O. in a matter of minutes.Giving up, taking off their gloves and forfeiting before their pride completely shatters. Then there is type 2:¬†People who feed off of it. Who feel it, learn from it, and keep on truckin’. The people who use it as fuel for bettering themselves. There have been times when I have been type 1. My pride was damaged. The fighter in me was embarrassed and wanted to quit. I didn’t understand the point of trying anymore, and quite frankly I was throwing my own little pity party. I think everyone goes through that at some point.
Recently I have been pushed and pulled in every direction in one specific aspect of my life. I have had thoughts of giving up on the task at hand and finding something else to do with my life. I have thought that I wasn’t good enough. But the truth is, I’m more than enough. I am choosing to be type 2, as hard as it can be at times. I am choosing to outlast the adversary. I am choosing to brush it off and I am choosing to show that I am not shaken or bothered by comments made. I know that I am enough, and I know I am dang good at what I do. I am not inadequate, in fact,¬†I am more than qualified. I refuse to let anyone else win, I absolutely REFUSE to be ran off by someone who is scared that I am not only more qualified than them, but better than them.
Inadequacy might seep out of others. But it will never seep out of me. 

Things Change

A lot of things change when you are in a committed relationship. I’m not that party girl I was in college. I’m not a girl who lives to go clubbing. I’m the girl who is totally fine hanging out at the house with or without a bottle of whiskey and a close group of friends. I’m the girl who would rather go to a restaurant to have a few drinks rather than pay $150 a weekend going to uptown. I’m the girl who would rather wear jeans and a t-shirt and skip out on the skirt and blouse. I’m the girl who would much rather wake up to the same woman every day, than going home with someone new every night. Some might say that I don’t have much of a social life anymore, but honestly, I’m fine with that. I’m not your average 23-year-old I would presume.

Being in college was a blast. I would party with my friends when I wanted to. I would drink on days where I had nothing to do after classes. I would go to work and stay up until 3 in the morning having sleepovers in the living room with my roommates.¬†College was amazing to say the least. As fun as it was, it’s the past. It’s who I was before I landed a big girl job. Now that I’m a school teacher and a coach I’m in bed most nights by 10. The time that I do get off I’m relaxing with my girlfriend and my dog, because my body is worn down. Surely other people get this way once “grown up” life takes over.

As “boring” as I may seem, I love the life I live. I still have the same friends from college although they live 4 hours away from me. I still see my family weekly. I still love to have fun. There are a few people who don’t necessarily enjoy the new me. They feel neglected, and I can somewhat see where they are coming from. They still love going out every weekend, and functioning on little to no sleep. I, on the other hand, can not do that. Physically, or mentally. I need my beauty sleep for sure. As much as we tried to not face it, the fact is, things change. We all have to grow up at some point. My grown up won’t be the same as your grown up, which is perfectly fine. Just like we are all different, so are out opinions.

Sometimes I miss the old, carefree, Shelbie. Mainly the carefree part, not having bills, not working everyday, not having to come home and grade papers, etc. Other than that, I love my life. I love who I am. I love being in a committed relationship and coming home to the same person every day. I love grabbing my girl and spontaneously dancing in the kitchen instead of gettin’ it on the dance floor. This is who I am. And I love who I am. The people who love me enough to stick around will hold on to me, and accept me for who I am. They’ll accept that Tawny is now apart of me too, and it’s not me anymore. Those who matter will be here, those who don’t, well…I hope a memory of the old me will suffice.